Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
