What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
We were destined to go to rehab together
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
