I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
