i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i think i scared a bird with my dick
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
