I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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