Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
