Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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