That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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