Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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