No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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