My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
