i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
My penis needs a shock collar
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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