it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
