Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
