forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
