Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
