I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You've changed since you got that strap on
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
