Will you blow on my dice?
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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