That's when you crack a 10am beer
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
