Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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