It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
