I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
it's like iHOP with fire
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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