Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
