I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
