You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Randomize
