We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
