I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
