you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
