Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
