I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
