RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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