Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
