Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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