Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
