Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize