So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
