Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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