he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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