chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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