My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
