it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
