Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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