Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
