I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
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