i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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