# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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