I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Randomize
