a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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