I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
