I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
