Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
where are you?
Hypothermia
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
