Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
God I need to hump something, right now.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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