just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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